Sunday, October 18, 2015

The night before maternity leave ends

It's 10:08 p.m., Sunday, October 18.
I'm technically less than 2 hours away from the day I go back to work.
The day that 12 weeks ago seemed forever away.
The day that even 6 weeks ago seemed forever away.
Yet here it is.. basically knocking at my door.
You know.. it was hot outside the last time I went to work.
Now that cool breeze is a cold reminder..
 
I shouldn't complain really.
I was blessed with the opportunity to take a full 12 weeks.
I know a lot of mothers that have to go back after 6.
I was blessed.
 
But right now I'm stuck somewhere between sadness and excitement.
Sad because, well.. that's obvious.
Excited because it's a chance to "use my brain" again.
I love my job. It has an awesome schedule, my coworkers are great.
I make enough to help support our family and provide us with the needed medical benefits we have.
I'd be an idiot to quit.
 
 But I really feel like I should be crying more.
I've teared up a couple times over the past week.
Tonight I teared up more than once.
But I haven't full on sobbed.
Yet.
I think that'll happen tomorrow morning as I'm driving away from my parent's house.
But maybe I won't cry.
 
Maybe I won't cry because Charlotte is staying with my mom during the day.
It's a best case scenario for our situation.
It's not day care.
It could be worse.
And I've left Charlotte with my mom multiple times during my leave.
Of course it was for fun things like a pedi and lunch with my Grandma.
But I still left her for a few hours. That has to count for something.
 
It'll be ok. I'll be ok.
I'm not the first working mother in the history of the world.
I'll survive.
This is the next step in this great adventure and it'll make our time together even sweeter.
We just have to figure out the best way to make this all work.
 
Right now we're juggling packing, showing our place to rent, conversations with the builder as the house is getting close to being finished, both of us working, our baby sitter living 45 minutes away, time together, etc. It's overwhelming that's for sure.
But in less than a month, most of those stresses will go away.
We'll be in the new house. The condo will be rented.
We'll live 10 minutes from the baby sitter and I'm certain we'll have the swing of things.
Just say a prayer for us if I ever cross your mind during the day!
It'd be so much appreciated!
 
Side note: I've been working on Char's birth story. I hope I can post it soon.
Right now I work on posts while I pump.
It's not like I can do anything else.
Besides watch Netflix.
I've done a lot of that. Haha!
 
But now it's time for me to be off to bed.
Tomorrow's a new day. A new adventure.
Here goes nothing!
 
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3 comments:

  1. I hope that today went well for you!

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  2. I've not done the transition from mat leave to work yet but the best advice ive heard someone give is to have an understanding of what you want to hear/don't hear while away from baby. There are some things she might do that you don't want gma to tell you she did so you can experience them yourself.

    Best of luck!

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  3. I had thought I would be super emotional the week before heading back to work, but I was like you. I got sad, but wanted adult interaction daily, to use my brain again, to get the fulfillment of work again and also to miss my girls since I was home with them for 16 weeks alone. I did cry pretty hard after dropping my girls off the day I went back to work. It was tough, but each day gets easier and now I cherish our time together even more (if that is possible!).

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